We had our ultrasound this morning. Of course I was excited, and a little nervous. Excited to see our newest little one and nervous of course because you just never know...especially this early when the only sign that you're still pregnant is the nausea and tiredness you have everyday. So we got there right on time, got sent right back and taken into the ultrasound room pretty quickly. It was a tech we'd never had before, but she was really nice. Smeared that gel stuff on there and put the ultrasound wand on. Picture popped up right away! Yay! Now, I'm really bad at seeing stuff on ultrasounds. I never see what they say I'm supposed to be seeing. But this was really clear! I looked at it....blinked....and said..."Um, is that what I think? Um, no...it can't be? Is it? Is that TWO??" U/S tech: "Yep it is!" Me: "Holy.....wow...um...wow...holy crap...um....oh wow. Holy crap...wow." And so on... Then I just started laughing, and couldn't stop. Because, really...what else can you do? I mean...yes...I could cry...there are things that make me want to cry....I have so many fears and worries and what ifs and how will we's and everything else running through my mind...but crying's sure not going to change anything or make it any easier to deal with and well...I tend to laugh when I'm nervous anyway. I giggled through my entire wedding vows, if that tells you anything. So...yep...I'm just laughing. And a big ole ball of nerves. I feel like I drank two cups of coffee this morning. And I'm nauseous. And its not the pregnant type of nauseous...its the nervous type of nauseous.
Kelly's reaction was not much. He's quiet in these types of situations anyway...the u/s tech said he just looked at the screen and then looked at me...I sort of wish I could have seen his face when he first realized but I was too much in shock myself. I think he's pretty much the same as me...excited but also very very nervous about everything. I asked him "How are we going to do this?" And he said, "We just will." Which is true. We'll just make it work.
The important things....both babies look great. Measurements are all right on track, we saw Baby A bouncing and saw Baby B waving his/her little hand. Of course they look just precious. They each have their own amniotic sac, which I'm told is a really good thing...less chance for complications. The doctor can't be sure yet whether or not they share a placenta. She thinks they probably do, but we have another, more in-depth ultrasound scheduled for a week from today to find out for sure. Baby A's heartbeat is 162 and Baby B's heartbeat is 150. I get the impression they're going to be monitoring me pretty closely between the combination of it being a twin pregnancy-which I'm pretty sure is an automatic high risk designation, and my history of pre-term rupture of membranes (pretty sure that's what its called) which already had put me at slightly high risk. I'm terrified...terrified that they're going to put me on bedrest. Bedrest with no kids would be one thing...bedrest with an almost 2 year old? Not a good thing. I'd imagine we could continue to send him to the sitter's during the day...but still...would not be ideal. But of course, getting these two to bake as long as possible is of the utmost importance. Because I'm also terrified of the probability (yes, probability not possibility...I'm not going to be naive about this) that my babies will be in the NICU. We were so amazingly lucky that Bug didn't need any NICU time so I suppose there is the possibility that these two will be that lucky as well....but I don't think we should bet on it. Our closest NICU is 2 hours away. That's a whole other thing to worry about. In addition to the fact that we have the Bug to worry about too. All things that we can't worry about too much right now because, well, there's just nothing we can do. Its all just a wait and see and pray and hope that all goes well.
I have a million, bazillion other thoughts and worries and wonders in my brain. But its giving me a headache. And I'm still processing :) But I had to share with you all. Support? Resources? Experiences? I'll take it all, thanks!!
Oh yes, did I mention my sister has twins? 20 months younger than her oldest son. And no, they don't run in our family. We are the only ones we have ever heard of in our family having twins. But I guess the "history of twins" in a family has to start somewhere right? Apparently its starting with our generation. What are the chances?? I mean...really?!? Craziness I tell you. Just craziness!!!!!!!!!!!
But, most importantly...we have two beautiful little babies growing strong. Wow. They really are adorable too. I'll try to get the pictures up (my camera's still broken and I learned last time scanning ultrasound pictures doesn't work) when I get a chance.
4 comments:
Okay. MOST TWINS are okay. Were your sister's babies born at a decent gestation?
However, that said....I'd definitely push for them to treat you as high risk, especially with your pregnancy history. Make sure they're running NST's at the end, and doing frequent checks on fluid, cervix, etc. It SHOULD make you high risk, and they need to treat you as such, even IF things seem okay. Twin pregnancies can be fine, or go wrong very fast. So you want all the monitoring you can get.
I'd probably stop lifting anything over 25-30 lbs now, too. Get into the habit of not doing too much, not lifting too much, not being up and about any more than you can. Bloodpressure and the like can be helped by lying mostly on your left side, too, so that's good to remember. Though shifting in position is also good occasionally.
I'd also discuss NICU options with your OB if you haven't already. How do they get you and them there fast enough if need be, etc. Would it be better to birth a couple hours away just in case (since you'll likely have a c anyhow)?
A week or two in the NICU to grow and learn to suck is almost expected with twins...so plan on that and if it doesn't happen, then you're golden anyhow. And I'll say as someone who's been in the NICU for "issues" rather than ISSUES!....it's not the end of the world if you have good care.
Also, two babies at once is really not that hard. Really. I promise. Anyone who really wants to can do it. Will it be nuts? Sure. But it's better crazy than no crazy at all, kwim?
Deep breaths...all you can do is go with it for now!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! That is so stinking exciting, and crazy, and crazy exciting! We'll be saying lots of prayers over those sweet babies. :) I would have laughed, too. And my Hubby probably would have just stared. LOL!
Oh my goodness!!!! That's pure craziness!
Girl, God has blessed ya'll double. He'll take care of everything, cast your worries on Him and everything will be just fine!!
Congrats!!
Um, wow! That is so awesome, but I totally understand how you'd be nervous. I would be, too!
Congratulations, though--how awesome that they will have each other to grow up with and with such an adoring big brother, too, as I'm sure Riley will be. :)
Hang in there! I'll be praying for you!
Love,
Erin
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